My heart is so heavy presently.

I have not written in a while. For why should I? I have been taking things for granted; taking things into my own hands, playing God.

My grandiose dreams of being happy, somewhat bruised. Or is it, often bruised?

I don’t know if it is me. It must be me. It must be the way something is always wrong with me.

I love too much, too deeply, am too possessive. Or is it just my choices, always, that are a mistake?

I love you always seems to be a cause of my downfall; or is it that you always do not love me enough?

Whatever it is, there is something wrong, and I am sure, it must be me.

I take things too hard, too personally. I don’t know what is love, I don’t know how to love. My relationship is falling a part, and this is just, what, the start?

I am not happy. At all.

I have zero degrees of empathy. So help me God.